HONEST SONNET#19 — wrinkles on my face but not in my poetry

I feel that I should apologize to the intelligent teachers and authors who earnestly try to negotiate and arrive at a sensible and literary understanding of the sonnets from the bizarre assumptions of very old critiques but I won’t because they should know better. They blindly do what they’re told.
A vital work of art has been graffiti-ed, stained, and perverted for centuries. I talk to average people most of whom grimace or go blank when I mention Shakespeare’s Sonnets – some of the most beautiful poetry in the English language. Some people do remember only the most famous sonnets that are straight forward love poems.
The issue for me is not love between man and man but with the old school assumptions that the poet wants the beautiful young man to get a woman pregnant to have a child that is also beautiful.
Where the knock-her-up-handsome-for-the-child came from is a mystery to me but I haven’t researched the history of this interpretation yet. Some day.
The paragraph below is a common example of blind obedience to the teachers of the teachers who were, at best, also gullible. In the paragraph below I extracted from Shakespeare Online.
I have substituted “himself” for “male lover,” “himself” for “his lover,” “mother” for “dark Lady” and “narcissism” for “lust.”
SHAKESPEARE ONLINE modified by me says:
The theme of Sonnet 19, as with so many of the early sonnets, is the ravages of time. The poet expresses his intense fear of time primarily in the sonnets that involve himself and his worries seem to disappear in the later sonnets that are dedicated to his mother. Specifically, the poet is mortified by the thought himself showing physical signs of aging. There is no doubt that his relationship with himself is one built upon narcissism- more so than his relationship with his mother which is based on love and mutual understanding.
There. Doesn’t that feel better? Only six words were changed and suddenly the sonnets become clear and do not make one uncomfortable. I believe my discomfort of the perverted interpretation is shared by most people.
SONNET 19 by Shakespeare ………………..SONNET 19 interpreted by Larson
Devouring Time, blunt thou the lion’s paws, …………all-consuming time you dull the Lions claws
And make the earth devour her own sweet brood; …and make the earth take me back
Pluck the keen teeth from the fierce tiger’s jaws,…….pullout sharp teeth from the fears Tiger
And burn the long-lived phoenix in her blood; ………and destroy my ability to revive my youth
Make glad and sorry seasons as thou fleets, …………..you rejoice over my season to be fleeting
And do whate’er thou wilt, swift-footed Time,…………be swift and do what you have to do
To the wide world and all her fading sweets; ………….to the wide world and fading youth
But I forbid thee one most heinous crime:………………but I forbid you to do your worst
O, carve not with thy hours my love’s fair brow, ……..oh do not slice away the time of my youth
Nor draw no lines there with thine antique pen;……..do not make wrinkles on my face
Him in thy course untainted; ……………………………….. allow me time and an untainted face
For beauty’s pattern to succeeding men.;………………..so I can always be beautiful to others.
Yet, do thy worst, old Time: despite thy wrong;………..go ahead old time hit me with your best shot
My love shall in my verse ever live young………………….my love in my poetry will remain young.